AS : Goddamn Gorilla !
(adapt. William Hinshaw – Didier Agid)

Peeping through the cast-iron gate
Many a girl of the neighborhood
Examined a powerful ape
Without hope, 'twill be understood.
Brazenly with no shame each maid
Ogled even a certain spot
Which, with vigor, my ma me forbade
To reveal here , therefore I cannot.

Gawd a Gorilla !

All at once, the priSON, well-closed,
Where the glorious animal dwelled
Opened; don’t know why (I suppose
They didn't lock the door so well).
And, eschewing mendacity
"Today's the day I'll it lose!"
The ape referred to his chastity,
You'll divine, if you're not parvenus.

Gawd a Gorilla !

The zoo master, irresolute
Cried in distress, invoked God’s name
"I'm stupefied, for the big brute
Has never even known a dame."
As soon as all the female crew
Learned the innocence of the stodge
Far from tempting the ingenue
They got the hell out of Dodge!

Gawd a Gorilla !

The very same gals that, hereto
Wolfed him down whole with their glance
Fled, proving they had not a clue
How great can be such a romance.
Fatal error, we should insist
For a gorilla's ziggurat
Can better a man's in the lists.
Many a girl will tell you that.

Gawd a Gorilla !

Everyone dashes pell-mell
From the reach of the ape in heat
Save a certain wrinkled old belle
And a young judge dressed for his seat.
Seeing all retire from the field
The quadrumane chartered his shag
By the flapping gowns that revealed
The magistrate and the old hag.

Gawd a Gorilla !

"Bah, whispered the hundred-year-old,
Somebody would still desire me
That would be worth silver and gold
And too much to wish for, you see!"
Hizhonor considered calmly:
"To believe I am a she-monk
 He'd have to be quite balmy"...
An idea the facts will debunk.

Gawd a Gorilla !

Now suppose one of your genera
Like this poor beast were compelled to
Violate a judge or a grandma,
Which would he choose here to do?
If a likewise election,
One of these days should be mine,
It is, I'm sure, the direction
Of the dame I'll take every time.

Gawd a Gorilla !

But, sadly, if the big primate
In the game of love's worth his toll.
It seems he's indiscriminate
Both in his taste and with his soul.
Now, instead of choosing the gal's robe
As would anyone else but he,
He seized the judge by the earlobe
And dragged him into the maquis

Gawd a Gorilla !

The rest would be more than jolly.
Alas, it is not here for me
To tell and believe me I’m sorry
I’m sure it would give you much glee.
For the judge, at the Moment of Truth
Called "Mama!", shed many tears, and cried
Like the man this day he had ruth-
lessly sent off to the Chair to be fried!

Gawd a Gorilla !